


Nothing Changed

by zayniekins



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: a behind the scenes kinda fic, idk if I should make larry or ziam real, just how I see things, reality kinda fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 14:51:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4881010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zayniekins/pseuds/zayniekins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Nothing changed, you just never knew."<br/> </p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Changed

**Author's Note:**

> This was posted on Wattpad but I'm testing the waters here. I basically had to indulge myself in foetus days to get this right. Ah, the pain. It may not be 100 % accurate tho.

“Jaan, you okay?” The door to Zain’s room inched open until it was wide enough for Trisha to stick her head in. Her eyes darted around the dimly lit room, finally landing on the lump in the middle of the bed; an obvious sign of her son’s presence.

“Yeah, mum, I’m fine,” Zain’s muffled voice could be heard from under the covers and Trisha rolled her eyes. Her son was obviously not fine. She walked into the room and closed the door behind her, switching on the lights while she was at it. As soon as the lights were on, she heard Zain groan. Loudly.

“It’s too bright, mum,” he complained, still hiding under the covers. Trisha sighed and shook her head fondly at the antics of her seventeen-year-old son. She moved across the room and sat down on the edge of his bed. Her hand came up and pulled the covers down.

“Mum!” Zain whined, squinting his eyes at the harsh light he was forced to face. He had a slight pout on his face and Trisha laughed.

“What, you’re a vampire now, Jaan?” She asked, jokingly. The edges of Zain’s lips curved up into a small smile at that and he sat up.

“What if I am?” he questioned, playing along with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Trisha gasped loudly.

“I knew it!” she pretended to act shocked. “I knew it all along! The broodiness, the aloofness, everything makes sense now. You really are a vampire.”

Both Zain and his mum burst into a fit of laughter. Trisha loved it when Zain smiled and laughed. It made him look more his age than hers. Sometimes, he would isolate himself from the family. She understood that, understood his need to just regroup and charge up now and then. But she didn’t understand why he was acting so moody lately.

The Zain she watched grow up was a lively one, always pranking his sisters and playing tricks on them because he was the only boy in the house. Nevertheless, she knew he loved them and would protect them if they were threatened in a heartbeat. However, the Zain she had seen over the past two weeks was a moody one. Trisha didn’t know if it was just a phase or if something was wrong. This was why she was in his room, to find out the truth.

“Zain, you’d tell me if anything was wrong, right?” she asked, when their laughter died down. Her tone made the atmosphere become a serious one. Zain nodded with so much trust in his eyes that Trisha wanted to coddle him to death despite him being too old to be coddled.

Trisha took a deep breath, “So, what is wrong? I’ve seen you these past few days. You’re not as cheery as you usually are. And a mother’s instincts are always right and they’re telling me that you’re not doing too well. Why is that?” Zain ducked his head and bit his lip like he always did when he was nervous.

“I’m okay, mum,” he said more to his lap than his mother’s face. Trisha’s fingers pushed up from under Zain’s face so that he was facing her rather than his lap. She looked into his hazel-coloured eyes, the way they kept darting around to keep from looking at her. It was a sure sign that he was lying.

“You sure?” she asked, concerned. “You’re not lying to me?”

Zain was silent for a few moments. He didn’t look into her eyes. He didn’t nod or shake his head. He was just still. After a pregnant pause, Zain sighed and looked down.

“Ammi,” he breathed softly, fiddling with his fingers. Zain had a habit of using the words he learnt from his Baba when he was uncomfortable. Trisha had nothing against it. To be honest, she wanted to hear him say the words more often. She wanted to hear him say them proudly and not care about what others think of him. She wanted him to accept that part of him that the world tried so hard to make him hide.

“I’m scared.”

The way that he looked at the moment, so small and vulnerable, had Trisha wanting to coo at him and hide him away from the world. She felt like a mother should, protective and not trusting the world of taking care of the only son she had.

Trisha took his hands in hers and asked, “Scared of what?”

Zain mumbled something unintelligible and Trisha strained her ears to hear. “Could you repeat that?” she said. Zain pursed his lips.

“Come on, Jaan. You can tell me,” she coaxed softly, rubbing her thumbs on the backs of his hands. His hands were bigger than hers now, a reminder that he was growing up and that she would have to let him go soon.

“I can’t do it,” he admitted slowly as if afraid of disappointing her. Trisha’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Can’t do what, Jaan?” she needed clarification before she could decide the best way to handle things.

“The audition tomorrow,” he said, eyes downcast. That was all the woman needed to remember that Zain had the X Factor audition tomorrow. A real, serious audition. Ah, she could remember it as if it was just yesterday. Doniya had told them that she heard Zain singing in the shower during dinner and joked that he should sign up for the X Factor.

She remembered seeing Zain flush red and playing around with his food, too embarrassed to take a bite. He shyly declined and said that he was not up for it. Unfortunately for him, the next day, Doniya told them that she had already filled up an audition form for him in case he changed his mind. Trisha remembered being told by Zain a while back that he finally wanted to try it out.

But now, he was getting a case of the cold feet for tomorrow’s audition. “Aw, babe,” she gave Zain a hug and rubbed his arms. “You’ll do great tomorrow, I can feel it.”

Zain huffed, “You’re my mum. You’re biased.” Trisha frowned.

“I am not, I have never heard you sing so how could I possible be biased?” she told him. It was true. Only Doniya had heard Zain singing so Trisha had no idea how her son’s voice sounded like. However, she believed that her son could do it. A Malik could do anything, she always said.

“I’ll embarrass myself,” he mumbled. Trisha shook her head.

“No, you won’t. You’ll smash it! Just like you did at the Producers’ audition,” She tried to motivate him. Zain shrugged unsurely. The Producers’ audition was when all future contestants of the X Factor auditioned in front of the producers of the show. Only a few were selected to go on to the Judges’ audition, either because of talent or because they might bring entertainment value.

Zain feared that it might be because of the latter that he was chosen. What if he really had no talent? During the audition, he hadn’t let anyone come in with him, just in case he failed. However, for the audition tomorrow, he would finally let them hear him sing.

“Did you pick a song?” Zain nodded. He chose to just go with the song he had done at the Producers’ audition.

“Did you rehearse?” He nodded again. Trisha nudged him with her elbow.

“See, you have nothing to worry about,” she grinned, trying to channel some of her positive energy to him. She rubbed her hand up and down his back. “You’ll do wonderful and make your Baba and I very proud. Even if something goes wrong, you’ll always have us cheering you on. Okay, Jaan?”

Zain gave her a small smile and nodded. “Okay, mum.”

Trisha patted his cheek. “Don’t be so serious. Smile, Zed. Remember what I always tell you.”

“A Malik can do anything,” they both said simultaneously before laughing to themselves. Trisha gave Zain a kiss on the head before standing up.

“I remember, mum,” Zain said as she walked to the door.

“Prove it tomorrow then, Jaan,” with that, Trisha wished him goodnight and went out of his room.

…

Apparently, all of Trisha’s pep talk from last night hadn’t paid off. Zain did not want to get out of bed that morning. He whined and pouted and did the puppy dog look but Trisha physically dragged him out of bed. Her motherly instincts were telling her that Zain had to be at that audition. He just had to.

After that morning fiasco, Zain begrudgingly got ready. It wasn’t until he was looking at his reflection in the mirror that he realized that he was actually going to do this. He smoothed out his shirt and took a deep breath in before letting it out slowly.

He was going to do this.

He was going to smash it.

After that short pep talk, he went downstairs and was ushered into the van with breakfast in a small paper bag. While he ate and his father drove, Doniya rattled off singing tips that she had found on the internet the night before. Zain nodded along, even though he wasn’t paying any attention. He was too busy calming his nerves. Doniya even took it as far as giving him examples of each of the tips, making Waliyha and Safaa cover their ears as they gave her annoyed looks for singing so horribly in the morning. His Aunt Aatoofa was coming with them. She said that she was chosen as the representative for the whole family’s support to Zain.

Zain got even more nervous at that but she assured him that it was alright if he didn’t win or anything. Just being there and auditioning was enough for them to feel proud, she said.

Once they arrived at the audition site in Manchester, Zain felt like he preferred having Doniya sing horribly in his ear than be here. He felt so jittery and the butterflies appeared in his stomach. He got out of the van shakily and felt hands on his shoulders, steadying him. He turned to see the reassuring face of his mother. Seeing the proud smile on her face made him feel slightly at ease.

Cameramen were everywhere, setting up for the auditions and making sure everyone was in place. Doniya dragged them all to where Zain was supposed to sign up and get a number. He was so jittery that he couldn’t even hold the pen right. When Zain got his contestant number, Trisha demanded that he stood there and posed with it while she took photos.

Zain stared at the card.

 

165616.

His number. The number that might change everything. Up until his turn for the audition, everything was a blur. He had a few questions thrown at him from the crew and he answered them as earnestly as he could. However, Zain was more focused on getting his head in the game. He knew that his family would be waiting at home. He knew that his mother was going to throw a feast, whether he made it or not. He knew that he did not want to disappoint them.

When it was almost his turn, he prayed. He prayed that he would pass. That everything would go well.

“You’ll do great, Jaan,” his mother whispered into his ear when she gave him a hug. His father patted him on the back as a show of his support. His father was not a man of many words, so Zain understood the gesture and appreciated it. Finally, his name was called.

This was it. This was the real thing.

…

Three yeses!

He got three yeses! All the judges said yes. Zain was ecstatic. He felt like jumping up and down in joy. He made it into the next round. They liked his voice.  They liked his singing. They liked him. Zain was glad that they liked him though. Otherwise, he might have peed his pants if Simon Cowell delivered one of his infamous comments.

There were so many moments where the judges could have poked fun at him. Like when he said his name, or when he felt like he was mumbling his words instead of saying them clearly like the other contestants. However, nothing as such happened and Zain was very glad.

“Jaan!” His mum squealed, giving him a huge hug. “You sang so well. I didn’t know your voice was that good.” Zain blushed under the praise, not quite used to it yet. His aunt had a proud look on her face and squeezed his shoulder.

“Where’s Baba?” Zain asked, noticing the one person he wanted to see. Only three people were allowed with him so his sisters had to wait outside. Trisha took his hand and walked him to the exit while Aunt Aatoofa gave one of the stagehands their contacts for then to call when the next round would be held.

“He’s getting the van and your sisters,” Trisha said. Before that feeling of disappointment could appear, his mum changed the subject. She told him about the massive dinner she was going to throw in his honour. When he tried to brush it off like it was no big deal, his mother slapped him on the shoulder and insisted that it was a massive deal.

“See, I told you that a Malik could do anything,” she said confidently. Zain laughed.

…

It turned out that a Malik could not do everything. At least, that was how it seemed to Zain. He could not get the hang of dancing which was unfortunately what the next test was. The choreography wasn’t his thing, dancing in general wasn’t his thing. It made him feel ridiculous and silly.

So, he refused. He flat out refused. When all of the male contestants were called out to dance, he hung back. The camera crew loved this though. They followed him, eager to get him to speak out on what was wrong. To them, this was extra drama for the reality show. For him, it was a matter that concerned his dignity and pride.

Even during family gatherings, Zain would always manage to exclude himself from anything that involved dancing (well, except for that one video but no one would find that). He never really thought that dancing would be part of the test but then berated himself because of course, it had to be.

During the first day of bootcamp, he was fine. He received vocal training, got the opportunity to size up the competition and was told to sing ‘Man in The Mirror’ in front of the judges. He was pleased that it was a Michael Jackson song that they would be singing but he was not pleased when he found out that they would sing one by one next to the other contestants.

However, Zain had gotten through it. He had passed and made it. Day 2 of bootcamp was the day where they tested the contestant’s dancing skills. When Brian Friedman gave them dance lessons, the feeling of dread already settled within him because he was sure that they would have to dance very soon. And he was right.

So here he was, not dancing. He didn’t want to cry, didn’t want to let the cameras catch his embarrassing moments. He had already been approached by them during the rehearsal earlier that day and when he told them of his problem, they lit up like he was going to be a good provider of drama. He didn’t want to give them more.

As he sat on one of the chairs backstage, Zain avoided looking into the camera at all costs, afraid that he might break down and cry out his frustrations. But they were relentless, asking him questions and he had to answer them. So he tried, the best he could.  

He expected his journey to end there all because he didn’t have enough courage to dance. He expected a stagehand to come up to him and tell him that he was off the show. However, he did not expect for Simon Cowell himself to go backstage in search for him.

The older man asked why Zain refused to join the dancing and when Zain laid out his reasons, Simon asked whether Zain was going to let a small matter like this end his journey on the X Factor. He said that if Zain could never do it now, he would never do it ever. That snapped Zain out of his reverie. He wanted to do the X Factor and maybe get over his fear of dancing.

He had a dream of what he wanted to achieve now. No longer was it a matter of going along with what Doniya had planned. Zain really wanted to proceed to the next round so that he could buy a new house for his family and make their life better.

Was he really going to let dancing ruin that? This was just one bump, if he could get over it then he’ll be fine.

He was a Malik, he could practically imagine his mum drilling that into his head.  He could do this.

So, with moral support from Simon, he walked onto the stage and proceeded to dance. He knew he was doing horribly but he sort of felt a sense of achievement because he finally danced and did something that was out of his comfort zone.

On the third day of the bootcamp, they had to sing a song from the Top 40 list for a spot at the Judges’ houses. Three days after was when they would find out if they made it there. All the contestants stood on the stage, waiting for the verdict as names were called out.

 

Zain felt nervous, waiting for his name to be called. Anxiety filled his veins as his name was yet to be called. He waited and waited but alas, he didn’t make it. He didn’t make it to the next stage. He looked around at the dejected faces of other contestants. At least he wasn’t the only one feeling disappointed.

It was time to go home then. He would tell his mum that he failed the bootcamp, that he wasn’t good enough even though he tried dancing. And he knew that his mum would probably make his favourite comfort food to cheer him up and tell him that it was all right. Just as he was about to leave, the rejected ones from the Boys category and the Girls category were recalled by a stagehand.

The stagehand said that the judges were recalling some of them back on stage. His name was the first one to be called but Zain didn’t want to get his hopes up. He wasn’t this lucky to get another chance. He walked in with four other boys who were around his age. He knew their names but he didn’t really hang out with them.

A group of four girls were also called back with them. The rejected contestants stood on stage, awaiting whatever the judges were going to say. The female judge –Nicole— was telling them the obvious (they were sad and stuff) but then, she said something that caught his ear. However, his mind was refusing to compute it.

It wasn’t until Simon clarified it and said that they were through to the judges’ houses that he understood what was going on.

He was through! He was going through! He was going through as part of a group with four other boys. He could live with that. This was a great opportunity. The other boys seemed to think so too as they all had relieved and excited looks on their faces.

They shared a group hug and it tugged at Zain’s heart how these boys would probably be more involved in his future if they managed to win this whole thing. He wasn’t exactly ready to do things alone but he did wonder how he would fit in a group dynamic.

Simon broke up the happy moment and gave them a few words of advice on what to do with their newfound second chance. He said that they would have to work harder if they wanted to survive.

And Zain promised to do so.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think?
> 
> Wattpad: mischievouslittleowl


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